awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
