Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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