It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
