in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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