that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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