The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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