i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
