I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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