just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
