ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
