wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
