I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
