Im at strip club and am horny
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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