I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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