They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize