And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
