so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
