I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
