i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
