She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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