I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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