youre lurking in front of me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
