What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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