I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
