dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
