And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
