Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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