you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
How's work?
Spinning.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
