It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
