There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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