can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
