but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
