Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I take back everything I said about communal showers
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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