did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
