i don't like sucking hair
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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