I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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