What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
