Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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