Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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