We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
