I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
