Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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