I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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