he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
whose parrot is this?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
