i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We left an ass print on the piano.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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