i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize