i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
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I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
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I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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