somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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