and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
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