shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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