Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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