Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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