it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
she pinky promised me she was 18
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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