I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
