Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
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I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
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Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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