i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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