last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
