five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
