I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
