Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize